I Miss You

I thought by now I would be over you. I thought by now the pain wouldn’t be so strong. I was sadly mistaken.

I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss the happiness you gave me and the love I felt for the first time in my life. I especially miss staying up late talking on the phone about random topics or how our days were. 

Whatever we had is gone now though. There is no hope for it coming back and I think that’s what especially hurts the most. You aren’t going to come back for me. You don’t care about me. You don’t love me anymore.

A huge part of me feels pathetic that I still think about you. I feel pathetic that I still feel like we could get back together one day. 

The saddest part is that if you asked me to take you back I would, in a heartbeat. I would do it despite the pain and the heartbreak and all the countless nights I spent crying myself to sleep wishing you were here in my bed holding me like you once did. I would take you back because I still love you and you still own a place in my heart.

Advertisements

Dropping a Toxic Friend

“How do you know if it’s time to drop someone?”

I find myself asking that question a lot these days. I don’t know if I keep befriending the wrong people or I’m just too blind of their toxic actions until it is too late; the most recent friend was probably one of the worst I’ve had to deal with since it wasn’t just me she was being somewhat abusive to but it also involved three of my other close friends.

For a bit of a backstory, I met these girls last fall in my first semester of college. To respect their privacy I’ll just call them Samantha, Marie, Kylie, and Sharon. In the beginning they all seemed like wonderful girls and I quickly became close with all of them. It wasn’t until my spring semester that I started to realize how awful Sharon was. She would constantly yell at me if I did something she thought was wrong and it finally got to the point that I was too afraid to talk to her because I didn’t want to get scolded for hours by her. Not only did she belittle me but she would do that to anyone who was close to her. I didn’t realize the other girls felt the same way about Sharon until my third semester of college when I finally had enough of the way she us that I ranted about her until 3 am.  After that everyone started coming out with their stories about her and how she treated everyone so disgustingly. I was surprised at how we all felt the same way about her but never said anything until almost a whole year later.

Once we all talked it out we decided it was time to drop her. None of us wanted to just ignore her and pretend she didn’t exist anymore because that’s what she would do with people who made her mad and we also weren’t that rude, so we all wrote out a message and created a group chat with her so we could all get our feelings out there. It was sad having to basically tell someone we didn’t want to talk to them anymore but it needed to be done. For months she was emotionally abusive and a horrible friend to all of us. There are plenty of other ways to get someone toxic out of your life but that was just the what my friends and I decided to do. I am a very strong believer of doing what you think is best for you and honestly after dropping her we all have felt happier and that a weight has been lifted off of our shoulders; I feel like as a group we have become a lot closer and also more loving.

A lot of people don’t realize that friends can also be considered abusive so if you or someone you know is being abused by someone in your/their life then please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.