Memories of you haunt me.
Some days I don’t think about you at all or what happened between us and all the pain it brought to me. I can think clearly on those days. I feel like the sun when it finally breaks through the clouds after it has rained for days.
Other days you’re all I can think about. It feels like I’m drowning in my own mind. Drowning in darkness because that’s what you left behind. The pain I felt settles on my chest, the heaviness of it makes me feel like I can’t breathe.
I wonder if you ever get that way too. I wonder if I haunt your mind the same way you haunt mine. Maybe you don’t remember me at all. Maybe you got the pleasure of being able to move past the pain and hurt, to be able to live like usual. I’m not going to lie I hope you do feel the pain sometimes. I know it makes me a bad person but I want you to suffer like I do.
My whole life I believed in ghosts. I never had any experiences with the paranormal but I always thought they existed. What if ghosts aren’t only the lost, tormented souls of people who have passed. What if ghosts are also the memories of people, the memories of what those people left behind that will sneak up on you in moments of weakness. Those ghosts reside in the crevices of your mind and roam the vast emptiness of your heart.
I wish I wasn’t haunted by your ghost and I don’t know how to get rid of it.